This master manipulator will keep me up all night then look like this in the morning.
My middle son is too silly in class and distracts others. He’s literally me as a child 👹👿 but I don’t tell him that
At least we will be able to tell them apart!
Momma Bear Got Him Good!! Follow nottheworstmom
Me: I just want to radiate peace and positive vibes 🥰 Also me: *steps on a toy* Mother fucking piece of shit asshole toys
Is this how everyone else convinces kids to get dressed? Here's a brief list of things that are easier to do than getting the twins to wear anything other than. PJs: giving an anal examine to a nervous tiger whilst blindfolded, eating a porcupine whole, working out how bitcoin actually works, Convincing an octopus that they are actually a women in their mid 40's. I could go on. During this pandemic, the need to get properly dressed has gone the way of the dodo, so now the only way I can convince them that garms are good idea is by: promising TV time, doing throws to the moon (no this is not photoshop), reading a book is a stupid voice that makes my throat horse, giving them nutella at 15 minute intervals all day & generally chasing them around with clothes until they're wrestled to the ground & promptly kick me in the face. Is this just a problem in my house hold or do all kids just wear PJS 24/7 now? #putsomedamnclotheson #PJsforlife #parenting #fod #dadlife
We stopped at McDonald's to get McFlurrys and the machine was broken. As we pulled away I said, "Shoulda guessed." And I heard a tiny voice from the back say, "Sometimes you gotta let that shit go." So if anyone needs a life coach...
My daughter was playing “princess” with her dolls and when the prince came to see the princess she said, “give me a true love’s cake” and if that isn’t a whole vibe, I don’t know what is.